Let'sa Dance
by saria almasy albatou kinneas
Summary: I promised a friend I'd write a story with Apollo and Hades in it so here it is. It's ridiculous and full of pasta and an indignant Hades.


"APOLLO

"APOLLO! IF YOU DIP ME _ONE MORE TIME_ EITHER _MY_ SPINE WILL BREAK, OR I SHALL_ RIP OUT YOURS!" _Hades pushed Apollo away, angrily, stretching his back.

"Why-a you shun-a me like-a that? Dipping you is-a fun-a! I like!" Apollo went to take Hades hand and waist but he was again pushed away.

"Well, _I don't like_! Why am I even being dipped in the first place!? That's the woman's position!"

"Well it's-a little hard-a for two men to-a dance"

"_you don't seem to be having a problem with it!"_

"Because you-a dancing the ladies part-a! It's-a easier, eh?"

"_No_ it's-a _not_ easier! I am taller than you, so you make me dip further! Not only that, but since I AM taller, why am I playing the woman's part!?"

"You-a so pretty!"

"…Thank you…but I still lack breasts"

"You have-a lovely pectorals! I like!"

Hades gave him a blank stare and looked down at his chest. They hardly reminded him of breasts.

"You aren't gay, are you? Because if you are, I think you should inform your children." It was Apollo's turn to look at him funny.

"Why-a you ask?"

"I don't have anything _against_ it, it's just that I'm married and-"

"I'm-a not gay."

"…Oh…Alright then" There was an awkward silence.

"Why, you-a interested in-a me?"

"NO I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU; I'M MORE THAN HAPPILY MARRIED!"

"Don't be-a so shy"

"I'M NOT SHY, I'M STRAIGHT!"

"Because I don't-a bite"

"I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T GAY!?"

"I'm-a open-minded!"

"Well, so am I, but-"

"-So why-a you so upset?"

"BECAUSE I'M NOT GAY!"

"But you open?"

"YES!"

"You-a whore."

"WHAAAT!?"

"You so open, how often you-a workin' you're-a booty?"

"I _beg your pardon!?"_

"What-a you're hours?"

"I DON'T HAVE HOURS!"

"So you free anytime?"

"I'M LEAVING!"

"You have-a a client?"

Hades punched him the face, red with rage and embarrassment.

"HOW DARE YOU!?"

"This-a mean we-a not going to dance?"

"YES THIS-A MEAN WE-A NOT GOING TO DANCE!"

"Good! Then-a we eat-a!"

"_NO!_ I'M _ANGRY_ WITH YOU! I don't want to sit and _eat _with you!"

"Oh, why-a you shame-a me like-a that? We friends! We eat!"

"No! You called me a whore! Why should I eat with you!?"

"I make-a so much food! Come, sit, you eat, you feel-a better after" Apollo pushed up a chair to a heavily laden table.

"Why on earth did you make so much!?"

"Because I have-a guests! Sit, sit! You eat! I feed you"

"I don't need to be fed! Who else is coming?"

"You my guest! I feed." Apollo busied himself piling Hades plate with pasta.

"Well, as your guest, I would like to feed _myself_. You have enough food here to feed an army! Is Hermes coming?"

"No, you-a my only guest. Hermes was-a busy"

"You can't expect just the two of us to eat _all this food_!?" Apollo put the intimidatingly full plate and a whole loaf of garlic bread in front him.

"Why-a? I thought you-a liked my cooking! I make-a lots, we eat"

"_Two people can't eat this much!_ I don't even think I can eat what you've already put in front of me!" Hades picked up his fork and looked at the intimidating pile of spaghetti.

"You so skinny! You need to-a eat-a more! Put some-a meat on you're-a bones"

"If _anyone_ around here needs to put some meat on their bones it's Hermes! Why isn't he here? He can smell pizza and cannelloni a mile away"

"He ask-a me to make-a him a doggy-bag, he busy with errands and-a messages in his-a room. You eat now!"

Hades grumbled and spun some spaghetti on his fork until Apollo slapped his hand away and picked up the fork, holding it in front of him.

"I feed-a you, you just-a relax!"

"I _told_ you, I will feed myself-mmf!" Apollo shoved fork in while Hades mouth was open.

"No, you-a my guest! You relax, I feed-a you!"

"YOU ARE INTOLERABLE! I CAN FEED MYSELF AND I WILL FEEL MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE DOING SO!" He tried to stand up, but Apollo forced him back down and shoved another forkful in his mouth.

"No, no, I make-a sure you eat well!" Hades sat back down angrily, defeated and choking on large amounts of pasta. He only prayed Persephone would never hear of this.

"Oh, Hermes! When did you install those camera's in Apollo's room?"

"Last night, when Apollo told me he'd convinced your husband to come up for 'a light lunch'" Persephone giggled.

"Well at least I know he can dance!"


End file.
